Voice

Active Voice/
Passive Voice

Compiled by Stella Cameron (1995)

Both the passive and the active voice play important roles in writing--particularly fiction writing. We use each one to achieve specific effects, specific tones in pacing.

Overall the active voice should predominate because it moves the story faster. Active voice is emphatic, immediate, authoritative. The passive voice is used when the on-page material requires more leisurely telling, a more dreamlike quality perhaps, a deliberate manipulation of text (and, therefore, reader) into the lull of language-induced intimacy.

Examples:

Active Voice	Shots ricocheted off concrete walls. Will threw Simon down and fell on top of him. Footsteps echoed. Coming this way? "Will! Let me up, damn it. Let me--" Will used a hand he couldn't spare to clamp his brother's mouth shut. "They hear us and we're dead," he whispered, every breath a pained effort.
Passive Voice	Shots were ricocheted off concrete walls. Pushing Simon down and spreading his own body on top, Will began looking around. "You're hurting me, Will. Please." "Hush," Will whispered. "You've got to be quiet or they'll hear us." Every breath was hurting him.

On the Other Hand:

Passive Voice	Stretching, arching backward over the warm rock, Elizabeth let her eyes drift shut.
Active Voice	Elizabeth stretched against the warm rock and shut her eyes . . .

In the above example, the passive voice evokes a luxurious mood, a sensuous mood, and is more effective than the active and, in this instance, less descriptive version.

The call, active versus passive, is yours. Make the choice work for rather than against powerful pacing and storytelling.